Changing the Narrative

You know what question kills me… the “so why are you trying to be a man?” question 🤦🏽‍♀️. If only I could insert a GIF to show exactly how I feel every time I hear that. Ugh… I’m not trying to be a man. In fact, I’m extremely proud of being a woman, and even more proud of being a black gender nonconforming queer woman. Wait…that might have made it worse and went over some heads, so let me step back. I’ve shared this before, but for those who missed the previous post and those who aren’t familiar with the term or language, gender nonconforming means that my ‘behavior or appearance does not conform to cultural and social expectations about what is appropriate to gender.’

Being gender nonconforming, masculine presenting or dressing in menswear does not necessarily mean that you’re LGBTQ+, dominate, or trying to be a man. Even if that were the case, who cares?! It truly baffles me that people don’t think that fashion and gender can be mutually exclusive. Style and presentation are just that…PRESENTATION. It’s about being unique, creative, and comfortable in your own skin. For some, it’s about freedom, breaking barriers, and brining awareness to a new idea. My hope is that society starts to support and celebrate others for having the confidence and courage to step out of the box and create a new narrative just as we support those who are “traditional.”

Gender Markers

If you’ve been following me for a long time then you know that I decided to step out of the gender normative box over a decade ago. For me, it was about wanting to dress smarter, more elegant, and creating a signature look. My goal has always been to break barriers, merge ideas, and increase awareness to how anyone can dress! It is about striving to be anything but ordinary. Being a masculine presenting woman in “menswear” speaks to that alone. I quote menswear to further highlight that society assumes that since I’m in a suit or “masculine” clothing it has to be menswear, which is far from the truth. It’s also why one of my goal has been to create a new narrative and show that fashion and gender are not mutually exclusive.

If you ask me, there shouldn’t be a gender marker attached to clothing. Style is about creativity and thinking outside of the box, so why are we we trying to put people into a box based on their gender? Placing gender markers on fashion only further perpetuates a “traditional” cisgendered narrative that is not inclusive of gender nonconforming, non binary, and trans folks. Some of you may be thinking “you’re pushing it. It’s not that serious”, but that is your privilege speaking. Now, try to put your privilege to the side and imagine how many individuals are afraid to go clothing shopping out of fear that they will be discriminated against for shopping in a section that they identify as vs the gender that they were assigned to at birth. An easy solution… remove the gender marker.

A New Narrative

I realized that part of my own personal privilege is having the confidence to not let others views of me get in the way of the pursuit of my dreams and goals. I try my best to use this superpower to inspire and empower others to be seen, celebrated, and free. Being visible has become one of the best ways for me to connect and resonate with others. I pride myself on showing other queer people of color that it is okay to live in your truth. You’re beautiful, creative, courageous, multifaceted trendsetters. This has been and will always be our narrative.

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