Happily Ever After

We only had three destinations in mind when planning our wedding day: Barbados, California, or London, England. I was born in Southern California while my half British half Guyanese wife was born in London, England. We tried to think of the place that was most symbolic to us while also taking into consideration the distance our families would have to travel. We thought about where most people hadn’t yet frequented, what was most cost effective, and what would be truly memorable. After talking it through it was a real no brainer……..Barbados was that place!!

Together, and individually, we feel most calm, relaxed, and at peace when in Barbados. It’s really become our second home! Everything from the laidback atmosphere to the warm sun, tranquil ocean, and Friday nights spent with our family at Oistin’s bring us joy! I can’t tell you how thankful and lucky I am to witness, experience, and learn more about the world through the lens of my Caribbean queen and her family.

Covid-19: A Global Pandemic

Our 2020 began, as it always does, with us traveling. We were sure this was going to be another amazing year of adventure before our tropical destination wedding. Little did we know that our February trip to finalize some wedding details would be our last trip of the year to Barbados and that we would have to postpone our wedding ceremony until next year.

March 14th, 2020, New York City and most of the rest of the country shutdown and closed its borders for travel due to the global pandemic of Covid-19.

In the weeks leading up to what felt like an instant, surreal, unexplained culture shock and national quarantine, all we could think was “are we going to have to cancel our wedding?”

Month after month, we waited – hoping for things to get better, but it seemed like things quickly went from bad to grim! From the global pandemic of Covid-19 to the continuous, brutal, and tragic deaths of unarmed and innocent Black folx erupting the pandemic of race and the modern day civil rights movement in Amerikka, things we’re getting drastically worse! It’s as if we were living in a nightmare. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse then came the day for us to make the decision to postpone our wedding ceremony.

Meant to Be

My wife and I often joke about the fact that we almost ended up at the same boarding school for high school! We did, in fact, end up at the same undergraduate college. I transferred for basketball first and almost transferred again to UTEP in El Paso for my final year in college, coincidentally, where she was also living at the time. Our journey has literally almost started or restarted at several points in our lives, but then again, it happened when it was supposed to and just as it was supposed to.

I used to wonder, if I had had the language that I have now, would our story be any different. Then I stop and think about how immature we both were when we first met and the journeys and life lessons that the universe needed us to experience separately before we could reconnect and be whole together.

There’s something so special about patience, time, understanding, and the hope for real love that can be such a big motivator. The combination of all of these have brought us full circle.

Seventeen years ago, I couldn’t have imagined my life the way it is now. But, that’s the beauty of patience.

Let’s Get Legally Married

As a creative, I am naturally drawn to aesthetics and memorable statements so 10.10.20 was a no brainer. The symbolic and numerical flow of the numbers is like that of 11:11 – make a wish! So, after having to postpone the wedding, we thought since we have to get legally married in the states anyways why not move our legal wedding date to what was initially our wedding ceremony date. The Mrs. was happy with it. All that she asked is that the federal judge that she clerked for still be the person to officiate and deem us legally married. So, we both got what we wanted! The hardest part was deciding, in the middle of the pandemic, where to get married. This is where the Universe was on our side again.

When the country shut down, the judge and her family relocated to their home in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard (aka the Black Hamptons!)!!

Since I had yet to visit Martha’s Vineyard, my partner suggested we get married on the island. The judge, being exactly who Tahanee described her to be, offered to marry us on her property. For the first time since we left Barbados back in February, we felt a little weight lift from off of our shoulders.

The Suit

I’ve been thinking about my wedding look since proposing to my partner. I got together with my friend and the owner of The Tailory New York, Shao Yang, to brainstorm something breathtaking and innovative for the special day. Just before the 2020 New Year, we had the look down, but that all changed after the world shutdown!

Weeks before the special day, my new friends from Hugo Boss reached out offering to style me for our wedding. I’ve shared this before, but for those of you who don’t know I did a lot of people watching while living in Germany. Playing international basketball is what allowed for me to fall in love with sophisticated and tailor made dapper wear. So, to have the German clothing brand style me for my wedding felt like another “coming full circle” moment.

I worked quickly and closely with the BOSS team to find the right pieces. My fashionista mother, and soon to be stylist, clicked on link by link and every image until we landed on the right cut, fit, and style. As someone who’s known for wearing statement pieces, I wanted to wear something a little more subtle so as to not overshadow my soon to be wife. In my mind, the day was about her so she should be at the center and focal point. I would simply compliment her and be her ‘arm candy!’

When thinking of a smaller, more intimate wedding celebration, a sleek and unassuming black tuxedo seemed fitting. I couldn’t decide on whether I wanted to wear a salmon to red tone shirt or a white shirt and accent tie to compliment the main color of her dress. It had also been months since I had purchased or worn an off the rack suit so I had no idea what size I was. Thankfully, BOSS thought one step ahead and sent me multiple styles, sizes, and fits of everything! To my surprise, the very first option was the one!

10.10.20

On any other day, it would take me about 5 minutes to get ready. But on this special day it took an hour. I put a little extra detail in everything including things that were already perfect. The baby hairs on my shape up had the lay just right, my tie had to have the perfect dimple, my pants had to sit right on my waist line, and the suede on my loafers had to be brushed in the same direction. You name it, I looked at it over and over again – as if something had changed in that previous 5 minutes I had last checked. No matter how small this ceremony was, I wanted to look my very best just for her.

As I stood on the deck of the judge’s house waiting for my partner to walk to me, my stomach suddenly filled with butterflies. It was finally starting to hit me…I’m about to marry my best friend and love of my life!

Leila cracked a joke behind me, not realizing, but instantly snapping me out of what may have been my first nervous moment. I laughed and cracked a joke right back before quickly straightening myself up to get ready for the big moment. Next thing you know, our song, In A Sentimental Mood by Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, started to play.

All I could do was stare at her and smile. She was the most beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes on and I was lost in her gaze. I clinched her hands as she clinched mine, never letting go – not even for laugh. The judge spoke over us so eloquently, drawing out bigger smiles and a few watery eyes.

It was time for our vows. My heart warmed as she spoke every word, wrapping me tighter and tighter into her safety net. Now it was time for mine. One sentence in and I started crying. It was like the 17 year tsunami of emotions had poured over me and I didn’t even want to swim!

This was my most vulnerable moment ever with her. A chance for her to see exactly who she was me to and I to her. As she gently wiped away my tears I looked up at her now watery eyes and soft smile, feeling protected. In that moment, I knew she had me forever and she knew I was her ride or die…from now until forever!

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Wearing

Me:

Tuxedo BOSS | Women’s 6 | Shop here – Women’s (Jacket • Pants – Similar but not a tuxedo) • Men’s (Tuxedo)

Tux Shirt BOSS | Women’s | Similar here

Tie BOSS | Men’s – One Size | Shop here

Loafers Aquatalia | Women’s 8 | Similar here – Women’s • Men’s

Her:

Dress Farm Rio | Women’s Large | Shop here

Shoes Stuart Weitzman | Women’s 9 | Shop here