A few months ago, my younger cousin reached out to interview my wife and I about Black queer love and healthy relationships. At that moment, I was sadly reminded that this younger generation of Black LGBTQ+ folx are still lacking the representation and resources, they should have, in the same way that I was over 20 years ago.
What is a relationship? What is a partnership? What does it mean to be in a loving relationship? A healthy relationship? An equal partnership? Does Black queer love exist?
In today’s world, the media has become one of the most powerful and influential force that has greatly impacted society’s thoughts, beliefs, and actions, which can easily play a huge role in how we socialize and perceive others. This sort of power has been used to perpetuate false narratives, exaggerate reality, and limit the true representation of communities. Plus, it’s worth mentioning, that this type of unfair representation often reinforces people’s beliefs and opinions of Blackness and Black love.
Black love, in general, has always been somewhat of a challenge in the Black community and is even more of a struggle for Black queer folx. While the representation of Black folx in the media and TV/Film has recently increased with shows like FX’s POSE, OWNs Queen Sugar, and Netflix’s Dear White People, we are still limited in our celebration of Black love. More often than not, we witness interracial relationships. While these interracial couples should also see themselves in the media and on screen, it’s equally important to show healthy Black queer relationships.
For me, it’s beyond time for Black queer folx to have a safe space to celebrate, showcase, and, receive insight and guidance on Black love, including a healthy and equal partnership.
Today, we are celebrating Black queer love, visibility, and companionship with a beautiful couple from NYC.
Prepare to feel deeply connected, inspired, and empowered by their energetically charged and unshakable love!
Angelina “Angie” Mitchell (She/We/Her) is a proud melanated woman and nurturer before anything else. She is an emerging artist, owner, and serial entrepreneur from Jamaica, Queens.
Born in Brooklyn, NY, Dawné “Mookie” Glover (They/Them) is a visual artist and owner. They are multidivisional and, energetically, they perceive every interaction differently.
Together, Angie and Mookie co-own Lovewise LA.
Source: Angelina Mitchell and Dawné Glover
Couple: How did you meet and was it love at first sight?
Dawné: “I caught a glimpse of Angie while on video chat with someone else and I inquired “who’s that with the red dreads?” (“Angie ran by and jumped in the pool”) “Oh that’s Angie. She works at 59th and Lex” was the reply. I took a mental note that maybe I should go shopping uptown soon to see if I ran into her. Exactly two weeks later, Angie sauntered into work wearing a black leather pencil skirt and 6inch heels, my heart literally fell in the pit of my stomach. The mixture of excitement and sickness I felt, I knew from that point on that our journeys were linked and I had to know more about her. I told anyone I could that one day she was going to be my wife. I know exactly how crazy that sounds! But I felt it in my entire body! Angie did NOT think so! We both were in strenuous relationships at the time of our meeting. My relationship ended shortly after our initial meeting, so I set out on an endless pursuit to show Angie how much I loved her and how much I thought we were a good fit. She curved me and gave me the cold shoulder for a while. She told me “I’m in a relationship and I’m not a cheater”. I respected it but it only made me love her even more. Hearing about some of the things she was going through softened my heart and made me realize she didn’t need me hitting on her all the time even though I made it my business to make her laugh while doing so. Angie is such a beautiful person just being in her orbit was good enough. Building a friendship is where my focus then shifted to. Little did I know that decision was one of the best I have ever made; 14 years later she’s still my best friend.”
Angelina: “I met Dawné when I transferred to her store to train for a Managerial position. While I noticed that she was a nice person my objective was to focus on my career. As time passed it became very clear that Dawné had an interest in me but I didn’t take any of her advances serious especially since I was in a relationship, I mean I did everything I could to curb her. I explained that I was devoted to my relationship, I told her that she was too young, I would literally leave the room if she started talking to me. One day as she initiated a conversation, I stood up quietly and began gathering my belongings… she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and stated “You’re Cold!” I walked away silently but I was laughing hysterically on the inside. I turned the corner wiping tears from my eyes as I walked into an empty room to finish my lunch; that was “The Moment”, a moment, a feeling I could not deny. She was now special, different from anyone I have ever encountered and I wanted to learn everything about her. Dawné had managed to occupy a space within my heart without a single touch and limited interactions. I started to share my life experiences with her and she became my breath of fresh air. Dawné and I eventually started hanging out thanks to a mutual friend, this gave us a chance to bond and build our friendship. A few months later my relationship ended (through no fault of mine, just to make that clear, lol) at which point I understood and accepted that Dawne was God’s gift to me so I began courting her. Looking back, I realize that the day she told me I was cold was ironically the day she helped me open my Heart Chakra. Dawne’s words shattered my ego but they delighted my soul. As a melanated woman I was programmed to believe that I had to devote all of my energy to people who lacked honesty and reciprocity her words “You’re Cold” is one of my most valuable downloads as it shifted my perception towards interpersonal relationships and self love. Her words, humor and love reminded me that I am a kind lover so in hindsight once I removed my blinders it was love at first sight.”
Dawné: I know you and Angie have been together for over a decade, but are you generally attracted to feminine women? If so, what is it about feminine women that draws you in?
“Yes. I have always been attracted to feminine women. I’m attracted to heightened emotional awareness. I process information from a logical point of view; sometimes I need that open sensitivity most feminine women openly exhibit to expose me to a difference in perspective. Most feminine women are skilled in the exchange of deep emotional intimacy. Physically I am attracted to small-framed curvy women. I’m most attracted to women that display unforgivable confidence in their walk and smile. I love seeing women wear heels and in beautifully draped fabrics, lace blouses.”
Angie: Have you always dated women? If so, have you always dated masculine presenting women? What attracted you to them?
“I always had a fascination with women and the female form. Growing up I would catch myself admiring women walking by, however, I was unaware of the true nature of my sexuality due to lack of representation so I spent my adolescent years dating guys until my last year of high school. As my senior year concluded I was giving more freedom, which allowed me to venture off to other schools where I encountered thriving lesbian communities, this was the missing piece to my puzzle. I am attracted to the sassy confidence, unapologetic individuality and courageous resilience that women emanate. Once I found the confidence to stand in my truth I allowed my heart to guide me to each one of my partners, naturally embracing their energy over appearance so I don’t have a preference when dating women.”
Dawné: What are some misconceptions that people may have about you as a seemingly masculine presenting woman dating a feminine woman?
“I think one of the misconceptions that people have about me as a seemingly masculine woman dating a feminine woman is the idea that I somehow have assumed the position of the “man” in the relationship. Which isn’t necessarily true. The constraint western society has placed on the roles within relationships, in my opinion, has never worked for a balanced partnership. I don’t believe partnerships are equal in the sense of work to be done, but more like a constant shift of energy between one carrying the other and/or both supporting the weight of each other.”
Dawné: As a masculine presenting woman, have you ever felt pressured by society to play the dominant role in the relationship?
“I think when I was a teenager being around other masculine presenting women there was this pressure to show up as dominating or as “hard” as possible. Trying to live up to that image caused a lot of emotional distress and made me feel out of place. I never really understood the idea of masculine dominance within relationships because I didn’t see it in my household. My mother and father would display an exchange of power. My granddad and grandmother had a similar relationship. Responsibility and leadership was always shared and shifted in my household depending on the circumstances. I quickly learned I only had to show up as myself and there would be no need for dominance when clear boundaries and communication exist.”
Couple: What challenges have you faced navigating the world together? How do you support each other in those moments?
Challenges:
“Dealing with jealousy among family members because we always chose each other first.
Maintaining our individuality within the relationship.
Finding a balance between love and our own separate passions.
Accepting that one of our victories might come when the other person is in a vulnerable place.
Relearning self-love and rebuilding self esteem while still showing up within the relationship.”
Support:
“Overcoming challenges hasn’t been an easy road but we have worked really hard to understand and respect each other’s love language. In moments of adversity we have learned to manage challenges by creating safe spaces for one another, we understand the importance of giving each other space to process matters in our own way without resentment or judgment. Decompressing is vital so we carve out time to check-in and plan dates or mini getaways to help us to recalibrate. Our friendship allows us to check each other and maintain a high level of respect for one another, but when faced with challenges that are bigger than both of us we seek sought counseling with a therapist and utilize books like “The Attachment Theory Workbook” which helps us analyze all of our relationships while also providing us with the tools to tailor positive experiences within those relationships regardless of circumstances.”
Couple: How did you come up with the concept of Lovewise L.A.? What is Lovewise L.A.? Does it have any relevance to your partnership outside of the business?
“When we sat down to brainstorm on what our business should represent it was a no brainer. It had to be something that reflected the amount of love we shared with each other and the love and positivity we shared with everyone we came in contact with. Lovewise similar to “Likewise” is used to repay a good gesture or compliment, but done within the energy of love. We have defined Lovewise as a call to action for us to use our gained wisdom to grow and facilitate love for one’s self, others and our environment. We have been fortunate enough to create so much love between each other; Lovewise L.A. is a way we pay it forward. We compliment this energy with the messages on our garments and with our outreach efforts with children and displaced individuals. We know when wisdom is used when choosing people and things to love, the exchange is always reciprocated.”
Couple: What is it like working with your partner? Can you share some things that have enhanced the working relationship and some challenges?
“We have always worked together. Work is how we met and it continues to be a theme in our relationship. Building our own brand was just the next step in our evolution. We together have made millions for other companies with our hard work and dedication, it was only right that we create something for ourselves.
Knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses plays a huge role in our success. Open communicating and debating also helps us both feel heard and understood.
A challenge for us is our very different work styles. Dawné likes deadlines and precise timelines. Angie likes for projects to develop organically and freely. We drive each other crazy but work through it by taking turns on projects and giving up control to the other freely. Staying present is important as well. Remembering that each moment with each other is a blessing keeps us in laughter and playful spirits.”
What do you think?